The musician

Note: Supposedly, something like this happened on Rush Limbaugh's radio show a while back. I'm too lazy to verify it though.

Once upon a time, there was a very successful musician who wrote about average American people. He occasionally left his phone lines open, so fans could call in with stories that could provide inspiration. One day, however, a caller complained that if he really cared about average Americans, he should donate to charity instead of hoarding his money so other people could have a chance of becoming as successful as him, and he, with his $5 million of earnings a year, couldn't rightfully claim to know anything about average Americans,

The musician replied, "$5 million? What an insult! I haven't made $10 million in decades!"

So the caller guessed, "Well, $2 million then. You still don't understand average people."

"Now I'm even more insulted! $2 million? Absurd!"

"...$1 million?"

So the musician replied, "No, you idiot! I make $20 million! And I never needed a dime of charity to get there!"

A liberal friend once told me that she thought conservatives and libertarians couldn't understand failure. I replied that liberals can't understand success.